I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
