But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
