So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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