This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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