haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
