Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
