im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
