I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
