Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
