Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
