My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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