She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
