Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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