K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have post one night stand depression
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