You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Randomize
