Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
