i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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