Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
