I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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