you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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