THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
