he shaved USA in his pubs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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