I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
