I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
