is your mom at the bar?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
