Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
