i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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