WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
