every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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