Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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