Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
