dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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