I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
