he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My vagina just clenched in fear
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