watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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