OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
