I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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