Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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