Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
