Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
this is an emotional support booty call
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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