after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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