Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
