Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
