He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
