plz talk dirty to me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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