she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
