If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
