I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
