meet me or not, i'm out of control
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
