well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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