So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
