How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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