I seem to have left my pride at pride
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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